As a writer of romance novels, I create exotic fantasies. My heroines are beautiful, my heroes gilded with a touch of the legendary, my plots larger than life.
Fans sometimes think of me as an "expert" on love, but my children never ask my advice. When I try to give it anyway, they roll their eyes. To them, I'm just Mom - too impossibly old-fashioned and ordinary to understand the winds of their times.
Since they have reached their teens, however, their often painful searches for that special someone have left me sleepless many a night. There are so many things I wish for them that I am utterly powerless to provide. Sometimes I imagine a little scene. Robby and Johanna ask me, "Mom, how do I find true love?" Here is what I say:
1. Understand that love is a state of mind and heart. It is not dependent on beauty, physical strength or the romantic settings I use in my book. Though it may be begin with infatuation, it moves from physical attraction in a golden curve, often involving sacrifice, to the deepest bond between two people.
Love for me is specific: I speak of your father, Robert, my husband of 23 years. To you our marriage is as plain as vanilla ice cream, but it is the core of my life. Ours is the kind of love to which romance novels are just a prelude.
Your dad doesn't arrange intimate dinners or second honeymoons. He doesn't bring me flowers. What he does is keep my car repaired and full of gasoline so I'll never be stranded. He vacuums the carpet when your grandmother is coming - not because he cares, but because he knows I care. Though your dad is not a pet person, when our old cat died, Robert buried him for me. He held me while I wept. After I'd mourned for several months, he encouraged me to adopt a kitten. So remember, true romance - the enduring kind - often comes so cleverly disguised it's easy to overlook.
2. Settle for nothing less than total commitment. I've seen couples live together in a "trial marriage." That seems as logical as biting into an orange to see if you have an appetite for an apple.
I know a man who has bitten one orange after another for years. He claims women are too "into themselves" to commit to a relationship, but he's got it backward. No one can open up the depths of her heart to a mere experiment.
A marriage certificate won't solve all your problems, but until you have the guarantee of one, you can't begin the struggle to forge yourselves into one unit against the world - the ultimate goal.
A mate is the post you can lean on, the person who, when you've really screwed up, loves you anyway. The only way to get that kind of mate is to make the dreadful leap of trust and be that kind of mate.
3. Talk about everything - expect divorce. I was not a talker when I met your dad. In my childhood, I'd learned that it was best to remain silent around my alcoholic father, who could twist any statement into a weapon. But Robert stubbornly refused to accept my silence. It was my first intimation of the strength of his love.
There is only one subject, we discovered, that should be taboo in a marriage: divorce. The mere mention of this word brings it into the realm of possibility.
Your father and I learned this the hard way. During a trying period years ago, I found myself calmly saying, "Maybe we should get a divorce." He answered, "Maybe we should."
How did we get to that point? Simply by mentioning the ugly "D" word in times of anger ("If we can't work things out we might have to consider divorce") and by slipping it sideways into discussions ("If we ever got a divorce...").
The day we frankly confronted the divorce option, we were not terribly angry with each other, but we had gradually let divorce become a real choice in our thinking. We made a pact, then and there, never again to mention the word "divorce" in association with us. We haven't dared break that pact in 17 years.
4. Want the best for each other. Being married doesn't mean that you are glued together. One of the wonderful things about love is that it binds without crippling. Remember not all your activities, friends or enthusiasms will be the same as your mate's.
When you father went back to college for his teaching degree, it meant starting over, but I wanted him to fulfill his potential. When I decided to abandon paramedical training and become a writer, he encouraged me.
Loving someone doesn't mean your goals are always identical. But if you want something, then your mate wants it for you too.
5. Only one person can be crazy at a time. Life is seldom a smooth highway of cooperation. You get angry. Your mate becomes obsessed. Either one of you can become totally obnoxious. Buy you can't both go wild at the same time. One of you has to stay in adult mode.
Please be forewarned: sometimes these attacks of craziness last a long while. Days. Weeks. Months.
One of my more prolonged bouts came in 1971s when I started reading back-to-the-land literature. I spouted undigested theories about the beauty of nature versus the ugliness of modern civilization until your dad agreed to move to a three-acre farm. I bought a hundred chicks, two piglets and seeds for a garden - and commenced to learn a few realities, such as the relationship between manure and flies, between irrigation and weeds, between nurturing animals and arranging for their butchering. When I suggested we moved back to town, your father nodded his head in stalwart relief.
We laugh about it now, though other incidents even time hasn't made funny. Some of them wear my name, some wear his. Whenever you're feeling martyred, remember, your turn will come. So learn early two of the most important sentences in marriage: "I'm sorry" and "you're forgiven."
An acquaintance of ours pouts if her husband forgets their wedding anniversary or the anniversary of the day they met. He appeases her by taking her out to a showy dinner every month or so - but otherwise he spends as little time with her as he can. They have fallen into a surface display of romance, perpetrated by the myths of an advertising age. It is a glossy shell that has little to do with the real thing.
The real thing has to do with love. And it isn't always glamorous - or easy. Love helps you get to the bathroom when you're sick. Love agrees to disagree on serious subjects. When you walk out the door in a rage, love trails after you, shouting "You can't get away from me! I love you, and I'll follow you wherever you go!"
And so in my sleepless hours, Robby and Johanna, I wish for you that moment when you look up and find someone watching you as if you were a candle - as if you were the only light in a world of darkness.
Copyright by Henlen. EVToys shows large number of cheap kids toys for christmas products such as Birthday teddy bear ferrari rc car and so on. All the best Kids toys are provided with superior quality and favorable price.
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Monday, March 5, 2012
Plush Big-face Monkey Stuffed Animal Toy
Appealing to your eyes is a cute plush monkey featured by his big face, long arms and large feet. Made of super soft plush and stuffed full with 3d hollow PP cotton, he touches soft and comfortable. He is covered in coffee plush and comes in two sizes, 43inch and 51inch.
With typical three toes design, two arms holding together, lifelike facial features, all these enable this high quality monkey toy to be an extraordinary one!
Stuffing: 3d hollow PP cotton
Size: 110cm/43.3in, 130cm/51.2in
Weight: 1800g, 2900g
Color: Coffee
Packaging: Exquisite gift packaging
Price:US$ 49.00
Link: Plush Big-face Monkey Stuffed Animal Toy
With typical three toes design, two arms holding together, lifelike facial features, all these enable this high quality monkey toy to be an extraordinary one!
Stuffing: 3d hollow PP cotton
Size: 110cm/43.3in, 130cm/51.2in
Weight: 1800g, 2900g
Color: Coffee
Packaging: Exquisite gift packaging
Price:US$ 49.00
Link: Plush Big-face Monkey Stuffed Animal Toy
A Get-Together
Three years have passed since I became a college student. I haven't seen many of my classmates after we parted when the college entrance examination was over. So we decided to have a get-together party this summer vacation.
As you can imagine, I could hardly wait to have the day for our reunion. After several months' waiting, 25 of my former high school classmates and 3 of our teachers were crowded in a small restaurant near our high school. We were more than happy to meet with each other again. Our former Chinese teacher was so excited that he even choked to say some words. With gratitude, we thanked our teachers for their hard work; with great joy, we exchanged the happy things happening in each of our present colleges; We talked and talked before someone shouted. “Oh, it was 11:30 now." But no one would be the first to say good bye to others.
I shall always bear this unforgettable get-together in my mind. With time passing, I believe I will meet many new friends, but I think the friendship among high school classmates will be the purest and will be the most valuable thing to cherish.
Copyright by Henlen. EVToys shows large number of cheap kids toys for christmas products such as giant snoopy stuffed animal for sale ferrari rc car and so on. All the best Kids toys are provided with superior quality and favorable price.
As you can imagine, I could hardly wait to have the day for our reunion. After several months' waiting, 25 of my former high school classmates and 3 of our teachers were crowded in a small restaurant near our high school. We were more than happy to meet with each other again. Our former Chinese teacher was so excited that he even choked to say some words. With gratitude, we thanked our teachers for their hard work; with great joy, we exchanged the happy things happening in each of our present colleges; We talked and talked before someone shouted. “Oh, it was 11:30 now." But no one would be the first to say good bye to others.
I shall always bear this unforgettable get-together in my mind. With time passing, I believe I will meet many new friends, but I think the friendship among high school classmates will be the purest and will be the most valuable thing to cherish.
Copyright by Henlen. EVToys shows large number of cheap kids toys for christmas products such as giant snoopy stuffed animal for sale ferrari rc car and so on. All the best Kids toys are provided with superior quality and favorable price.
Thursday, March 1, 2012
Platypus plays tricks
Before the dawn of time, all the animals looked the same.
Normally this was fine, but some of the cheekier animals likes to play tricks on Mother Earth and pretend to be other animals.
Since they looked exactly the same, even Mother Earth who had created them couldn't tell the difference!
To try to fix this problem, she decided to make each different animal look different, so they couldn't swap identities.
Now, there were some animals who liked flying through the air, or climbing trees more than anything, but not Platypus. He liked swimming.
At the time Mother Earth sent out her message that she was going to change what everyone looked like, Platypus was under the water, playing with his friend Fish.
Platypus stayed in the water even after Fish had got out, and since sound doesn't travel that well under water, Platypus didn't get to hear Mother Earth's message. It was only when Fish came back looking like a beautiful river fish, with his scales gleaming, that Platypus even knew about the message.
He left immediately for Mother Earth's home, so he too could look different. But by the time he got there, there was only left overs left. Platypus so wanted to be like everyone else, that he took the left overs.
He ended up with a beavers tail, a ducks bill and flippers, and a bears fur and claws at the end of the flippers.
When he got back to the lake to show his friends, they all just laughed at him.
Platypus was so embarrassed that he went and dug a hole in the ground near the river bank to live in.
After awhile though, Fish came along and apologised.
They become friends again, and Platypus even made another opening to his home underwater just so fish could come and visit.
Copyright by Henlen. EVToys shows large number of cheap kids toys for christmas products such as giant snoopy stuffed animal for sale ferrari rc car and so on. All the best Kids toys are provided with superior quality and favorable price.
Normally this was fine, but some of the cheekier animals likes to play tricks on Mother Earth and pretend to be other animals.
Since they looked exactly the same, even Mother Earth who had created them couldn't tell the difference!
To try to fix this problem, she decided to make each different animal look different, so they couldn't swap identities.
Now, there were some animals who liked flying through the air, or climbing trees more than anything, but not Platypus. He liked swimming.
At the time Mother Earth sent out her message that she was going to change what everyone looked like, Platypus was under the water, playing with his friend Fish.
Platypus stayed in the water even after Fish had got out, and since sound doesn't travel that well under water, Platypus didn't get to hear Mother Earth's message. It was only when Fish came back looking like a beautiful river fish, with his scales gleaming, that Platypus even knew about the message.
He left immediately for Mother Earth's home, so he too could look different. But by the time he got there, there was only left overs left. Platypus so wanted to be like everyone else, that he took the left overs.
He ended up with a beavers tail, a ducks bill and flippers, and a bears fur and claws at the end of the flippers.
When he got back to the lake to show his friends, they all just laughed at him.
Platypus was so embarrassed that he went and dug a hole in the ground near the river bank to live in.
After awhile though, Fish came along and apologised.
They become friends again, and Platypus even made another opening to his home underwater just so fish could come and visit.
Copyright by Henlen. EVToys shows large number of cheap kids toys for christmas products such as giant snoopy stuffed animal for sale ferrari rc car and so on. All the best Kids toys are provided with superior quality and favorable price.
Friday, January 6, 2012
One day
There are two basic ways to see growth: one as a product, the other as a process. People have generally viewed personal growth as an external result or a product that can easily be identified and measured. The worker who gets a rise, the student whose grades improve, the foreigner who learns a new language—all these examples of people who have measurable results to show for their efforts.
By contrast, the process of personal growth is much more difficult to determine, since it is a journey and not the specific signposts or landmarks along the way. The process is not the road itself, but the attitudes, feelings people have, and their caution or courage, as they meet with new experiences and unexpected difficulties. In this process, the journey never really ends；there are always new ways to experience the world, new ideas to try, new challenges to accept.
In order to grow, to travel new roads, people need to have a willingness to take risks, to face the unknown, and to accept the possibility that they may “fail” at first. How we see ourselves as we try a new way of being is necessary for our ability to grow. Do we see ourselves as quick and curious? If so, we tend to take more chances and be more open to unfamiliar experiences. Do we think we’re shy and indecisive? Then our sense of fear can cause us to hesitate, to move slowly, and we think we are slow to adapt change or that we’re not smart enough to deal with a new challenge. Then we are likely to take a more passive role or not try at all.
These feelings of insecurity and self-doubt are both unavoidable and necessary if we are to change and grow. If we protect ourselves too much, then we stop growing. We become trapped inside a shell of our own making.
Copyright by Henlen. EVToys shows large number of cheap kids toys for christmas products such as Political Figures, ferrari rc car and so on. All the best Kids toys are provided with superior quality and favorable price.
By contrast, the process of personal growth is much more difficult to determine, since it is a journey and not the specific signposts or landmarks along the way. The process is not the road itself, but the attitudes, feelings people have, and their caution or courage, as they meet with new experiences and unexpected difficulties. In this process, the journey never really ends；there are always new ways to experience the world, new ideas to try, new challenges to accept.
In order to grow, to travel new roads, people need to have a willingness to take risks, to face the unknown, and to accept the possibility that they may “fail” at first. How we see ourselves as we try a new way of being is necessary for our ability to grow. Do we see ourselves as quick and curious? If so, we tend to take more chances and be more open to unfamiliar experiences. Do we think we’re shy and indecisive? Then our sense of fear can cause us to hesitate, to move slowly, and we think we are slow to adapt change or that we’re not smart enough to deal with a new challenge. Then we are likely to take a more passive role or not try at all.
These feelings of insecurity and self-doubt are both unavoidable and necessary if we are to change and grow. If we protect ourselves too much, then we stop growing. We become trapped inside a shell of our own making.
Copyright by Henlen. EVToys shows large number of cheap kids toys for christmas products such as Political Figures, ferrari rc car and so on. All the best Kids toys are provided with superior quality and favorable price.
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Kidkraft Mini-Gas Stove Set Pretend Play in Kitchen
The lovely and chic kitchen mini-gas stove set will provide your child with hours of kitchen pretend-role fun. It's so much fun coming up with yummy recipes! Young chef who likes to help mom and dad with the cooking is sure to love it.
This set of appliance in kitchen is suitable for kids who love to mimic mom and dad in the kitchen. Full set of gas stove equipments presented on the image are all designed in a delicate and chic pattern. Pancake turner, pan, ladle, omelette, even the bottles of salt and pepper can be contained in the folding box. Kids can prepare the yummy dishes for many times to their parents with the heartfelt emotion.
Link:Kidkraft Mini-Gas Stove Set Pretend Play in Kitchen
Size: 15.8*15.8in, (40*40cm)
Material: Wood
Weight: 3000g
Suitable for: 3+ years
Package: Exquisite gift wrap
This set of appliance in kitchen is suitable for kids who love to mimic mom and dad in the kitchen. Full set of gas stove equipments presented on the image are all designed in a delicate and chic pattern. Pancake turner, pan, ladle, omelette, even the bottles of salt and pepper can be contained in the folding box. Kids can prepare the yummy dishes for many times to their parents with the heartfelt emotion.
Link:Kidkraft Mini-Gas Stove Set Pretend Play in Kitchen
Size: 15.8*15.8in, (40*40cm)
Material: Wood
Weight: 3000g
Suitable for: 3+ years
Package: Exquisite gift wrap
America have Challenge
THE PRESIDENT: Thank you very much. Please, have a seat. Thank you. Thank you, MIT. (Applause.) I am -- I am hugely honored to be here. It's always been a dream of mine to visit the most prestigious school in Cambridge, Massachusetts. (Applause.) Hold on a second -- certainly the most prestigious school in this part of Cambridge, Massachusetts. (Laughter.) And I'll probably be here for a while -- I understand a bunch of engineering students put my motorcade on top of Building 10. (Laughter.)
This tells you something about MIT -- everybody hands out periodic tables. (Laughter.) What's up with that? (Laughter.)
I want I want to thank all of you for the warm welcome and for the work all of you are doing to generate and test new ideas that hold so much promise for our economy and for our lives. And in particular, I want to thank two outstanding MIT professors, Eric Lander, a person you just heard from, Ernie Moniz, for their service on my council of advisors on science and technology. And they have been hugely helpful to us already on looking at, for example, how the federal government can most effectively respond to the threat of the H1N1 virus. So I'm very grateful to them.
We've got some other special guests here I just want to acknowledge very briefly. First of all, my great friend and a champion of science and technology here in the great Commonwealth of Massachusetts, my friend Deval Patrick is here. (Applause.) Our Lieutenant Governor Tim Murray is here. (Applause.) Attorney General Martha Coakley is here. (Applause.) Auditor of the Commonwealth, Joe DeNucci is here. (Applause.) The Mayor of the great City of Cambridge, Denise Simmons is in the house. (Applause.) The Mayor of Boston, Tom Menino, is not here, but he met me at the airport and he is doing great; he sends best wishes.
Somebody who really has been an all-star in Capitol Hill over the last 20 years, but certainly over the last year, on a whole range of issues -- everything from Afghanistan to clean energy -- a great friend, John Kerry. Please give John Kerry a round of applaus. (Applause.)
And a wonderful member of Congress -- I believe this is your district, is that correct, Mike? Mike Capuano. Please give Mike a big round of applause. (Applause.)
Now, Dr. Moniz is also the Director of MIT's Energy Initiative, called MITEI. And he and President Hockfield just showed me some of the extraordinary energy research being conducted at this institute: windows that generate electricity by directing light to solar cells; light-weight, high-power batteries that aren't built, but are grown -- that was neat stuff; engineering viruses to create -- to create batteries; more efficient lighting systems that rely on nanotechnology; innovative engineering that will make it possible for offshore wind power plants to deliver electricity even when the air is still.
And it's a reminder that all of you are heirs to a legacy of innovation -- not just here but across America -- that has improved our health and our wellbeing and helped us achieve unparalleled prosperity. I was telling John and Deval on the ride over here, you just get excited being here and seeing these extraordinary young people and the extraordinary leadership of Professor Hockfield because it taps into something essential about America -- it's the legacy of daring men and women who put their talents and their efforts into the pursuit of discovery. And it's the legacy of a nation that supported those intrepid few willing to take risks on an idea that might fail -- but might also change the world.
Even in the darkest of times this nation has seen, it has always sought a brighter horizon. Think about it. In the middle of the Civil War, President Lincoln designated a system of land grant colleges, including MIT, which helped open the doors of higher education to millions of people. A year -- a full year before the end of World War II, President Roosevelt signed the GI Bill which helped unleash a wave of strong and broadly shared economic growth. And after the Soviet launch of Sputnik, the first artificial satellite to orbit the Earth, the United States went about winning the Space Race by investing in science and technology, leading not only to small steps on the moon but also to tremendous economic benefits here on Earth.
So the truth is, we have always been about innovation, we have always been about discovery. That's in our DNA. The truth is we also face more complex challenges than generations past. A medical system that holds the promise of unlocking new cures is attached to a health care system that has the potential to bankrupt families and businesses and our government. A global marketplace that links the trader on Wall Street to the homeowner on Main Street to the factory worker in China -- an economy in which we all share opportunity is also an economy in which we all share crisis. We face threats to our security that seek -- there are threats to our security that are based on those who would seek to exploit the very.
Copyright by Henlen. EVToys shows large number of cheap kids toys for christmas products such as Fashion Figures, ferrari rc car and so on. All the best Kids toys are provided with superior quality and favorable price.
This tells you something about MIT -- everybody hands out periodic tables. (Laughter.) What's up with that? (Laughter.)
I want I want to thank all of you for the warm welcome and for the work all of you are doing to generate and test new ideas that hold so much promise for our economy and for our lives. And in particular, I want to thank two outstanding MIT professors, Eric Lander, a person you just heard from, Ernie Moniz, for their service on my council of advisors on science and technology. And they have been hugely helpful to us already on looking at, for example, how the federal government can most effectively respond to the threat of the H1N1 virus. So I'm very grateful to them.
We've got some other special guests here I just want to acknowledge very briefly. First of all, my great friend and a champion of science and technology here in the great Commonwealth of Massachusetts, my friend Deval Patrick is here. (Applause.) Our Lieutenant Governor Tim Murray is here. (Applause.) Attorney General Martha Coakley is here. (Applause.) Auditor of the Commonwealth, Joe DeNucci is here. (Applause.) The Mayor of the great City of Cambridge, Denise Simmons is in the house. (Applause.) The Mayor of Boston, Tom Menino, is not here, but he met me at the airport and he is doing great; he sends best wishes.
Somebody who really has been an all-star in Capitol Hill over the last 20 years, but certainly over the last year, on a whole range of issues -- everything from Afghanistan to clean energy -- a great friend, John Kerry. Please give John Kerry a round of applaus. (Applause.)
And a wonderful member of Congress -- I believe this is your district, is that correct, Mike? Mike Capuano. Please give Mike a big round of applause. (Applause.)
Now, Dr. Moniz is also the Director of MIT's Energy Initiative, called MITEI. And he and President Hockfield just showed me some of the extraordinary energy research being conducted at this institute: windows that generate electricity by directing light to solar cells; light-weight, high-power batteries that aren't built, but are grown -- that was neat stuff; engineering viruses to create -- to create batteries; more efficient lighting systems that rely on nanotechnology; innovative engineering that will make it possible for offshore wind power plants to deliver electricity even when the air is still.
And it's a reminder that all of you are heirs to a legacy of innovation -- not just here but across America -- that has improved our health and our wellbeing and helped us achieve unparalleled prosperity. I was telling John and Deval on the ride over here, you just get excited being here and seeing these extraordinary young people and the extraordinary leadership of Professor Hockfield because it taps into something essential about America -- it's the legacy of daring men and women who put their talents and their efforts into the pursuit of discovery. And it's the legacy of a nation that supported those intrepid few willing to take risks on an idea that might fail -- but might also change the world.
Even in the darkest of times this nation has seen, it has always sought a brighter horizon. Think about it. In the middle of the Civil War, President Lincoln designated a system of land grant colleges, including MIT, which helped open the doors of higher education to millions of people. A year -- a full year before the end of World War II, President Roosevelt signed the GI Bill which helped unleash a wave of strong and broadly shared economic growth. And after the Soviet launch of Sputnik, the first artificial satellite to orbit the Earth, the United States went about winning the Space Race by investing in science and technology, leading not only to small steps on the moon but also to tremendous economic benefits here on Earth.
So the truth is, we have always been about innovation, we have always been about discovery. That's in our DNA. The truth is we also face more complex challenges than generations past. A medical system that holds the promise of unlocking new cures is attached to a health care system that has the potential to bankrupt families and businesses and our government. A global marketplace that links the trader on Wall Street to the homeowner on Main Street to the factory worker in China -- an economy in which we all share opportunity is also an economy in which we all share crisis. We face threats to our security that seek -- there are threats to our security that are based on those who would seek to exploit the very.
Copyright by Henlen. EVToys shows large number of cheap kids toys for christmas products such as Fashion Figures, ferrari rc car and so on. All the best Kids toys are provided with superior quality and favorable price.
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